And the award for Best 5 Star App review goes to…

I can’t vouch for all app developers but for our own apps we are often berated, cajoled, mis-represented and sometimes even threatened by our customers in the App Store, using the one-and-only mechanism that Apple provides, the venerable 5 star rating and text review system.

We are quite lucky and do receive quite a few 5 star ratings for our picTrove apps, and we do love reading through the written reviews; we go through each and every one of them, sometimes with delight and sometimes with pained expressions. Although Apple has, in it’s infinite wisdom, not yet given us any mechanism to respond to any of them (nor any easy way to see all of them together, without depending on a third party to aggregate them across all countries), it’s still fun to go through each and every one of them.

When we came across the 5 star review (by a person whom we only know as BrainSaladSurgeon’s) of our picTrove app titled “A story with a happy ending”, we couldn’t help but laughing out loud in glee and delighted in the way the review was written. It is worth many, many times more than what every other customer paid for the app, because of the time and effort they put into it. You, Sir/Madam, have made our day!

The review is reproduced below, in it’s entirety:

A Story with a Happy Ending!

by BrainSaladSurgeon

Once upon a time I was invested in the Pro versions of the PicTrove apps. The dividends were exceptional. I used them constantly. I came to understand that these were extraordinary apps. I concluded both apps were actually 1016% better than all the other image search apps to be found in iOS or Android. I was a truly contented man.

It came to pass one day that I my PicTrove apps had ceased to work entirely, with no warning whatsoever. In the blink of an eye PicTrove had turned into app dung. I was horrified. I was mystified. The apps were worse than dung. Dung can be composted. I was lost, angry, and I even once lashed out in verbal rage at the creators. There was no response. It was as though they could not, or would not hear. I fell into deep depression. I grieved. Still I would check from time to time, but months passed. I eventually lost all hope and deleted the apps. Soon even their memory was gone, and I lived a life of mundanity, existing on inadequate apps that were little more than gift wrapped Google Image search, maybe with a little bow of Bing to make the folks who’d never known PicTrove think they really had something. Virtually all of these apps, particularly on iOS, not even permit the removal of search filters, so pathetic were they.

My Joie de vivre was gone.

Then today, an ordinary day, but for finding myself on a peculiar route into the App Store, via CNet Download. Why is not important, except insofar as that had something vaguely to do with an image search app, and it was a dead end. The app no longer existed. So long as I was there, I thought I might as well have a quick look at the image search app offerings there. It had been awhile. If PicTrove had even entered my mind I would have dismissed the the notion as certain to be a dead end as the non-app that brought me. So I was taken aback upon rather quickly encountering it there. I took a look at the reviews expecting to find only single star disappointments. To the contrary, five star happiness abounded! The invitation to Open was there. Should I do it? Should I risk reliving such a devastating experience? Telling myself not to expect anything but failure, I took the chance.

I am so glad I did. I swooned in an instant with delight! Only one word describes the 12 hours since that moment: bliss! The happy man I used to be has returned!

All praise to the creators! And I pray that you, image search seeker, will take that leap of faith I did. I know you will land in here with me, and we will dwell in the happy place together. Neither will you suffer a moment longer!

To Mr./Madam BrainSaladSurgeon, we can only say that we’re honored to have a fan and a customer like you, kudos!